A real rough draft that I'm slowly trying to get a feel for where it should go, unfortunately it doesn't have an order to it.
I guess to be afraid would be nothing more than fear itself yet I find
that im trembling at the thought of speaking up so I remain silent...
But my words are voluminous and my voice is timid so I choose to let my
pencil voice words for me... But it inscribes scratches across the page
and they seem to bounce off walls into the pages of my memoir so no one
can hear them... S my fear is driving images that I cant comprhend.. And
im scared that I wont be able to hear myself .But if I choke that would
be the worst part because that would mean I cant comprehend the full
meaning of my words and that there dry because they lack substance...or
because im writing with a pencil and the lead is nothing more than
graphite thats spiteful because im using pens to draw pictures ...So I
guess I know why I always trip up...because im drawing literary pictures
with a pen and I find that I cant erase the mistakes I made so I deal
with them by running away from that which is composed by my own hands..
Fear.. What should I be afraid of.. Physical manifestations or a pen
that shatters when I touch paper..not being understood . Or accpeted..or
finding out life has rejected you... I guess the worst thing to b
afriad of is my own hands cause they keep cataylsts that shine brighter
than any smile or star could show.. And my mind cause my thoughts could
bring questions...bleh..Fear I guess I could quote lines and say dont be
scared ..but tremble because of the thought of what u could hear
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